Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
