is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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