the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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