dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and she was petting her beer can
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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