At least make sure they are 18
Why
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
