I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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