she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
