i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
