I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
