you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
