I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
