worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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