Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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