ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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