Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize