I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
