just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
