Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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