I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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