Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm too high and old for this...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
