It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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