i don't like sucking hair
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
