Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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