i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
