I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
