he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
