K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
