i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
