As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
