I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
