I am full of burrito and curiosity
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
