I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
