Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
