Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
