That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
