Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
