i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
