I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
