It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
