She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
