1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
