Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
