I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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