watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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