Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
