We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
