Got a toothbrush?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
