u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
