where does the pee come out of this thing
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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