TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
