He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
3 2 1 whiskey
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
