she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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