they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
