I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
