I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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